Spilled Martini!

A Notice

2011-01-10T17:02:00.004+08:00

This Blog Is Terminated

Effective From

This Post

After much of considerations, I have finally come to my senses to terminate this blog due to few reasons. But most important of all, it's that this blog never served it's original purpose as it was conceived.

Since campus, the blog posts are almost the same. Rhythmic cycles based on the length of the semester, busy in terms of academics for a while, then holidays (busy too). It's time to finally end the misery of the poor readers. ;)

So there. Coup de grâce.

Anyway, it's an honor for me to be able to wish you guys good luck and have a happy 2011!

Gleefully keyboarding-out. =)

Yours truly,

Andrew.C

Uh..

2010-12-17T14:37:00.005+08:00

Mom texted me this:

"Dear son, I date you this Saturday. Please make no appointment with your friends, ok! Love, mom."

How can that not make you smile?

But in the end, that date turn out to be a visit to a skin specialist in KL for my rotting face that cost her RM220.

My.

What mom would do for her son. sighs. =)

Heart

2010-12-09T11:22:00.003+08:00

How many parts of your heart could you be generously divided before you can finally say, that's enough - the rest are for myself, as a safe, an enclave, in case the divided parts are wounded.

The thought came from a friend, and it revealed itself so simple, in the regular mamak stall we went every time when I'm home.

Perhaps, it's time to settle down.

Sometimes, the dramas in life tends to creep, and it seems every time when life asks for peace, when you say it's enough, turbulence always find its way.

Regrets, I have a few.

And a thousand apologies does not justifies.

The Glee and The Worry

2010-12-08T10:37:00.004+08:00

A familiar car appeared very soon as I pushed my trolley to the foyer. The high-pitch sound of flight engine didn't stopped my heart stretching.

"I'm home"

Another holiday just started not long ago, and till now, I hadn't the chance to sit in front of my laptop to blog about this. I've been unpacking, laughing, hugging, waiting, walking, seeing, listening... ...

** ** **

Yesterday was a public holiday, and mom wished for a day her son to accompany her. I'd love to.

We went to The Pyramid. We were walking. We were shopping.

Then, I noticed.

Every so often, she wanted to grab a moment to sit at the benches around to rest her legs.

"She wouldn't get tired so easy from shopping? Come on, she likes it, and she's not that old to give up walking more shops."

I asked myself. Then, I asked her.

I realised.

She was in pain. It has been months since it, that her hips are suffering from some sort of aching. She didn't want to run a medical scan, though she went to the chinese physiotherapy for a few treatment sessions. Said to have relieved the pain.

Somewhere inside myself, I know, she bear that agony from giving birth to me, and the past, she was working hard to earn a living, ignoring the importance of maternity care after giving birth to a child.

The ill effects are resurfacing.

Listening to her telling me about her legs are as equally aching to my heart. Worse is that I cannot do anything much about it besides insisting her to do a check-up.

Hopefully, that was temporary, as the doctors told her.

I love you, mom.

Lagenda

2010-12-02T21:44:00.003+08:00

Ok. Shoot me. After a citizen of Malaysia for 21 years, I only just discovered who Shiela Majid is.

Great voice, sweet music. That's all I'm gonna say. So far it's only a single song I've tuned into but I'm sure, more to come soon and I think I'll like it.

This just totally reminded me the reaction a hearty aussie gave me months back when I asked her who Jimmy Choo was. Her reply was truly un-defeat-able:

"Andrew, you're not gay."

oh wells.

* * *

Finally, the last paper has passed, and thanks to whatever god there is, I can do the papers. Now fingers crossed for the first letter in the alphabet for the grades. :)

Thanks to Dr.H, I have an opportunity to work in a research team on nuclear physics. Dr. H is an Iraqi. So yea, I'm working with an Iraqi nuclear physicist.

Sounds dangerous eh?

He's working on the energy levels of even-even nuclei and I was there to help on designing a few simple java programs to solve his equations.

And that cancelled my lunch date. :/

* * *

and to you who can't make it to Desaru with me;

Wish you get well soon! There's always next time, I'm sure. ;)

That Forty Winks

2010-11-30T01:46:00.003+08:00

It's almost 2, the sounds of movements around the hostel is slowing down to almost a still. I'm still flipping myself on the bed however, one side, then another, trying to catch a nibble of sleep, all in vain.

yeah, I told myself, it's the last paper later at 9am, and I need that good night sleep for it. Apparently, the moment I shut my eyelids, random thoughts started to flood.

Knowing all the stuffs undone, all things so packed to remember for the exam in the morning, all the worry about Dr. H's expectation on me to help him in his research.

And then the entertainment stuffs come in. Tina Turner. Don't ask.

Then random stuffs: kittens, mathematics, romanticwalksareboring, sushi...

Tired. Disturbed.

* * *

***

Damn, I'm desperate now. To sleep.

When semester almost ends

2010-11-28T14:04:00.003+08:00

This is the happy period I suppose? No, not literally. I don't bleed.

Though, I have to say right now, I'm not really situated in the study situation; partly due to yesterday night when I discovered I got C+ for my Islam subject.

FML.

Senior say it's almost impossible to get such grades unless you skipped class and defied all study conventions. Since I've submitted all my assignments (I hope) and did an I-would-call-ok presentation on Jihad, I suppose I shouldn't get ridiculous grades like that.

Anyway, I am so happy to be able to return home, next Sunday. Promised dear mom to have breakfast with her right after touch-down. Can't wait to give her that big son hug. x)

Now holiday plans are surging.

When is my last paper again? oh, next Tuesday morning. yes. After that, some disinfecting laundry on mouldy shirts, hopefully they will stay mouldless through the semester break.

And there's a date right after the last paper. ;)

Then two days in Desaru with another sweet.

Last sushi buffet on Friday with my seniors;

A toast to you, farewell.

Now resume to SSP 2412 - Material Science. The skies are waiting.

Rain

2010-11-14T22:03:00.001+08:00

Spheres of glowing light from the street lamps marking the strokes of water droplets passing from one to another. The sounds of drizzle clattering on my umbrella soon brings out a strange allure I find it to my liking.

Tina Turner's "I Don't Want To Lose You" was playing in a moderate volume as I continued walking. Somewhere in between the rain and the lengthy journey, time slows down as I liberated myself from the shelter of a shade, embracing the freezing yet blissful droplets on my face.

And then there it was;

For a long time hanging around with them, I smiled, from the very bottom of my heart.

Picking up

2010-10-31T16:41:00.004+08:00

ok, this is like a really rare opportunity to update since UTM bloody blocked my blog for having adult contents..

Speaking of which, after weeks of inactive-ness and the urge of updating this blog slowly dilutes. And the thing is that I find this place failed to express what it was originally meant to. Perhaps within, I wasn't truly ready. Perhaps I mind what others consider about me. Perhaps.

Well, anyway still, the updates further will inevitably be slow, due to obvious stupid reason, but still, i'll update. Maybe through time, the hidden blog will no longer be necessary and this replaces that.

Just maybe.

But right now, it's all darn academics! Finals are coming very soon and in my standards I'm not doing very well in the previous tests, which calls for more exercise in study week.

No shame to repeat what I've missed in SPM years because I'm now doing add-maths - again.

I confess, I have a weak foundation in mathematics. Doing mathematical physics now is totally killer. Though concepts are understood, trying to solve questions without foundations are as if digging a swimming pool with a screwdriver.

Anyway, a great gratitude and best wishes for friends and family who made my day in 20102010. It was really a special day despite the hideous electronics test in the night on that day. Fb wall is lovely!

* * *

Enjoying the moments of singlehood, as long life is giving me a decent amount of drama (but not too much) I'd love my life now.

The orchid was beautiful and the flask was what I've wished for. I owe too much thanks to you but unfortunately it's over. Thank you for walking (and over-pampering) with me for a while, but really, life has been much lighter for now and that really makes me a happier person.

* * *

I miss my friends in Subang. I miss my home. I miss my mom and dad. I miss my room. I miss my keyboard. I miss AIESEC experience. I miss my exes (in a reflection sort of way).

I miss you.

(ok lar, I know this is too much with of that I-am-a-celeb-lanciness. I'll do it more next time so you guys will get used to it! this blog has been too emo. Kan?)

And for the almost non-existing populations of ethnic Indians in UTM, and all others, Happy Deepavali!

I wish to light up a pelita this year.

What?

2010-10-03T11:15:00.002+08:00

WiFi in UTM blocked my blog for having adult contents.

Two weeks

2010-09-26T10:07:00.003+08:00

For the start, I'm totally swarmed this two weeks.

Assignments and lab reports.

Period.

Closure and weeks in reflection

2010-09-18T22:42:00.005+08:00

Two weeks is half a month.

What have I done?

Assignments a side, reports undone.

All's left is queer and fun.

ok. Little did I know, I think I just made a rhythm or lyric or something like that. Life has been so far great to me. Yesterday was a day meeting so many new faces and Mr Vin for real. Birthday party for Vin in Vin's was totally awesome with abundance of alcohol and a group of hearty and happy (also crazzyy) friends!

Met Rawlins earlier with Justin on Friday, and had a half-cut price on YuZu restaurant in The Gardens. Nice networking Rawlins. ;)

Pulau Ketam trip wasn't gastronomical but rather picturesque.

The most memorable was Cameron trip with dearie and all it's snippets and Mr. Roman Shapiro from Russia who turns out a senior lecturer of chinese studies in Universiti Malaya.

And all my SPM and STPM friends. Hugs. Will miss you guys so much, and my return to undone work and assignments.

Now, the last sip of martini.

I'm going back to UTM.

going back

going...

...

Touchdown

2010-09-05T00:16:00.004+08:00

It was a gorgeous morning, staring into the sun through the flat glass walls inside the boarding terminal, letting the warmth brush my skin in the cold air-conditioned environment.

I'm going back home in about an hour.

After the rocky turbulence when we flew though the growing cumulonimbus, a grandiose paradise appeared - puffs of clouds gently floats above a layer of stratus, making a zen garden crafted by nature. A sight to savor.

* * *

It doesn't matter how things had turn up because that has already been a part of a memory. History.

Don't apologize.

Because you have done nothing wrong.

But there were no rules to begin with aren't they? I have to tell you, this is my style, and people of the past come to hate this part of me. Hence it didn't usually last.

I wanted to apologize, and occasionally I did. That's because I felt like it's unfair for you. But if you ask me to run an extra mile for you, I can't promise too much. I dare not for the lessons learnt.

You doubting me, is my greatest disappointment now. Call me selfish if you would.

* * *

*Intercomm Ding*

"This is flight FY-2140. We are about to land on Subang Abdul Aziz Shah Airport in about 10 minutes. Please fasten your seat-belts and thank you for flying with us."

The little dots on the map now appeared to be matchbox-sized houses, and soon the traffic and then reflection of lights from chromated surfaces appeared, and the tarmac of the runway and a rattle and it's touchdown.

I'm home.

Affair

2010-08-23T11:35:00.002+08:00

Adeline cheated.

"How did Richard know?" She asked herself.

"Because I slept with Danny." Richard coldly replied.

Drama

2010-08-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

Eric calls my life on last Sunday a Korean drama and he called his Hong Kong TVB.

Whatever it is, I didn't regret my dear and I don't think I will.

One night we made the decision to part and another hour we decided to try this.

I don't fear;

Because I know you believe in me, which is all that matters.

Now we can exchange the ring that should have about a month ago. :)

YELLOW SHIT!

2010-08-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

OMFG

SERIOUSLY

FUCK DiGi!

WHY NO COVERAGE WHEN I FUCKING NEED IT?!

Stars

2010-08-13T11:07:00.004+08:00

It was a clear sky, cloudless, and there was no moon. I was notified earlier to witness a celestial event.

Perseids.

Then, I was on a field, adequately far away from the annoying city lights. The sky is dark enough to finally register the not-so-often seen milky way - a broken band of faint silver poured on the backdrop of darkness.

It wasn't really that dark though.

Then we were lying on the concrete patch and moist grass looking into the heavens.

* * *

Streaks of light then glided through in perfect lines across the field of stars. I finally saw what I want after years of pursuit hoping to bump into a decent weather.

I thank you, and all goodness from above.

RAWR

2010-08-09T11:10:00.000+08:00

I HATE BOYS.

grow some balls goddamnit

Booze!

2010-08-08T22:06:00.002+08:00

Talking about how much I missed my drinks, I got myself SO wasted last night.

The only thing that picqued my interest at start can only be alcohol. (of course, to see the cute Frenchie Raphael one more time before he leaves to France next Tuesday.)

And heck, he buys drinks for the night, so how can I possibly say no?

Upon arrival it was the usual hey-what's-up routine and of course in a mundane conversation, you do need something to actually dehydrate yourself, something cold to the hands - alco!

Now, is it just me or Rum and Coke tastes like grape?

But heck, after a few gulp, my driver went K.O on the couch.

Then was the balcony and the midnight neighborhood view from above , with Raphael and Crisa (from Romania) coming into a serious conversation.

Now, a puff of smoke is not that bad after all. =P

Lots of firsts for the night!

When poker cards are out, the night is just getting better. For this instance, I like being on the losing side, and nothing beats the feeling of going tipsy. Crisa made simple but lovely veggies to munch! x)

I was *this* close. Didn't do it. I think I might have freaked him out a little. Ah well.

Au Revoir and Bon Voyage, Monsieur Raphael!

Dinner

2010-08-07T21:15:00.003+08:00

You know, the most convenient part in my campus life will perhaps be my dining experience.

Having a decent food arcade a few hundred metres away from where I stay is like having carbs and burning them right after meal.

Walking alone is indeed fun! =D

On the other side of the note, I am so totally missing my booze. When can they start doing the one-time room check so I can buy my blessed gin!?

p/s: I still couldn't figure out who dropped the stalk of rose on my doorstep.

Thumbs Up

2010-08-06T09:54:00.004+08:00

Things are kinda not-really-happening lately, with all the assignments, room-chores, bills, stuffs, agh.

Making lunch of my own almost everyday can be a commitment though looking at the bright side, now I can have my lovely green diet! Awesome.

So,

Last night, I decided to walk from the faculty back to my room which is unimaginably far for walking. Not exaggerating. To make things interesting, it was at night and en route a really long and quiet road.

Suddenly a car stopped. Someone offered me a ride.

Thank you Mr. Syahid.

"Are you from Korea?"

"Uh, no.. I'm from Malaysia."

"Oh, wow. You don't look and sound like a Malaysian though."

Je t'aime

2010-07-23T12:13:00.002+08:00

Don't assume.

You might have a clue how I feel, but you are not me. There are plenty of things I have in my mind that I can't solve, and each time you ferociously interrogated me, over the coffee table or under the moonlit sky, I find it increasingly difficult to put it into words.

What do you think?

We know things are complicated, especially for me. But I can't help. You can't help me either.

I am sorry I had to poison you with those sentimental movie clips. Sharing of ideas and experience together was more sinful than those physical gratifications I've had.

Most time, I wish a shot of gin in the silence and solace of the night would help. Occasionally it worked, for a while.

I meant my words when I said it, dear, even if it's another language we both didn't master. And I tell you, I said that only because I have kept it so long. It's true.

Now, resume to my dilemma.

You think I use words too easy, and that I have became a choking leash to you.

It's time to let go, as you wanted it.

You are tired, I know. But you have to see, I am tired too.

Good night, my love.

GRRR!

2010-07-19T14:24:00.001+08:00

YOUGOINGTOPAYFORMYSWEATYNIGHTS

Get It Fixed! Nuff said.

Semester III

2010-07-16T10:44:00.002+08:00

A new semester, going to be the half of my course.

A new year, going to register into a brand new place.

New is a lie.

Fan - Not turning!

Desk lamp - Not lighting up!

Bed - Black!

Floor - Cigarette butts, boxes, paper, oil, eggs, scraps of something, spider webs, this, that, etc...

Internet - No plugs, no wireless!

Cellphone - No coverage!

Ground floor - Theft problems.

Food - Limited to distance.

Faculty - Kilometers away.

Shower - One working cubicle.

Insects - Plenty

Not a problem. I have myself, and that is all that matters.

Malacca Snippets

2010-07-13T12:51:00.005+08:00

"Rhythmic pop was banging and a perspiring bottle of iced Carlsberg was...."

"...learned a great deal in such places, and I found a moment of solace in antiqued churches. I remember Saint Francis Xavier. It was so pretty with the stained glass and lights. Malacca is far from quaint. The town is so catered for tourists, even antiqued shops seems so fresh..."

"Simple yet decently dressed, carrying a beaded sack and a loaded LOMO, it’s unmistakably..."

"I know you’ve over expected on the chicken rice I’ve brought you to, but the chendol your friend introduced was divine."

"It was a quiet night. St. Pauls have not another human figure besides ours."

"...found ourselves a nibble of time sitting on the riverbank, staring at the bastion’s bricks on the other..."

holdmyhand.whitebirdsflyingatnight.old.

classical.newlyweds.graveyard.riverside.

keris.chineselantern.camera.cannon.whiffofspices.

Petronas State Of Mind

2010-06-29T11:17:00.002+08:00

In KL,

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,

There's nothing you can't do,

Now you're in KL,

These streets will make you feel brand new,

The lights will inspire you,

Let's hear it for KL, KL, KL

It's just not the same.

Candy Man

2010-06-28T19:39:00.004+08:00

THE SWEETS VENDOR IS DIABETIC

What up?

2010-06-27T16:51:00.003+08:00

Yasmine just game me one of the most beautiful gifts.

The jewel scarabs are freaggin awesome! I made it into some sort of ornament for my bag.

Ok, so here's the point.

If I have decided to embrace the fashion sense of that subculture, then I shouldn't hesitate to carry that purse.

In fact, I'd love and be raging proud to own that flaming aunty-style bag I've bought!

There!

A Postcard

2010-06-25T21:21:00.003+08:00

To a classic coffee-shop at the small train station in a quaint town of Johore.

It's simply called Station Coffee Shop.

Unpretentious, no signboard

neonlighting it's fame.

only the flaking paint advertising

the charm of the quotidian.

Inside Peranakan tables with ivory shine

are stewarded by wooden chairs

burnished by many sittings.

A ceiling fan hum lullabies,

the wheels of it's languor caught

in the wall mirror beaming approval.

The Kopi-O is aroma so rich

that it freezes your breathing

in the phase of inhaling.

The roti is not toasted by National

but charcoal-fired to brown perfection.

Nasi Lemak wafts fragrance

like the scent kampong leaves offer up

after the talcum of a drizzle.

Simple fare, yet I keep coming back,

feel things even with things inanimate,

warmed at the roots of the heart

by Jack's propitiatory smile.

Coming back, I feel like the prodigal child

coming home to the open arms of the father.

Dr. Ng Kian Sing

The First Message

2010-06-23T20:36:00.004+08:00

Dear ~~Andrew~~ Physicist :P

First of all, you're smoking hot! I wish to get more time to talk with you. You have a very unique mind, thinks far ahead of others, and that's the sexy part of you.

I can't help but wonder what will you say (more), what kind of person you will become. Let's talk more! I really enjoy talking with you.

G-Friendly (haha)

p.s: You're not like Z. Maybe you're hotter!

XXX

For STEP - GaS

2010-06-04T00:50:00.001+08:00

I am A-OK ;)

Over

2010-05-28T23:54:00.004+08:00

I’m now staying in a three storey terrace somewhere near my campus with the entire committee members of the coming AIESEC conference.

Even though we are living under the pressure of workloads and tension, somehow we managed to keep that metastable state of so-called friendship between all of us. It’s only an illusion.

Deep within, everyone seems to be struggling for comfort. Some related to physical comfort, some friendship and more.

So,
Who should I confide to?

Wednesday morning, I’ve received a message from my aunt. Upon reading it, I knew the family is again in a troubled state – a repeat of what happened about 10 years ago. I intend to tell this to my mom when I returned from my day with a dear friend of mine in PJ but she called me instead just before I wanted to leave.

Apparently grandpa called her.

My aunt is beginning to show signs of entering a state of mental psychosis. She is starting to talk gibberish, and her message to me in the morning testified that. I fear for my grandparents who are the only people living with her now.

Meanwhile, my dad received another call from Johore Bahru.

My other aunt is going to die from her diabetic-related complications. Doctors gave her less than a week. My dad wanted to visit her so much, but how about my other aunt living with her grandparents?

* * *

And you.

According to your junior, you have been behaving like this since three days ago, which was exactly the day the incident in cyberspace occurred. You called on Wednesday to find out if I am alright but it was your voice that’s almost breaking into tears.

You only managed to tell me the cause of your sadness. Not the reason. And that was after a week since my first attempt of asking you what’s wrong.

Please, the team and everyone else needed you. You have to stay strong because I know you can. Besides, you know that I am always there to listen despite our conditions.

Maybe that’s why.

I know it’s futile to apologize, but was anyone at fault?

Comfort Food

2010-05-24T18:08:00.004+08:00

I made myself a loaf of hippie, yeast-less spiced bread today and it goes very well with the tomato carrot soup served warm.

Something comforting after the days of walking in the busy streets.

After handing an extra bowl to my mom and dad..

dad: *mm..*

mom: You know, I worry not about you anymore. Least you won't starve to death. Your brother's another different case. He might suffer hair loss due to instant noodles or undergo malnutrition when he stays alone outside.

me: Well, all he need is a wife to take care of that. :) On the other hand, my hair drops too when I'm about time to find myself a wife.

Difficult Questions

2010-05-17T10:54:00.003+08:00

Photo courtesy of Alex.L

He was looking into the sunset beside a luxurious swimming pool on the 8th floor patio in Hilton KL. Just a moment later, he know he's about to dine in one of the finest restaurants around the city with his best buddy and a few new friends.

It was a last minute idea of myself substituting a guest that was unable to make it to the dinner. Since the meal was offered with a tempting half-price, I suppose the guest list on that particular table we were dining on are exclusive to those who are invited.

My name could be Cassandra.

* * *

The sound of cutlery chimes and smooth jazz across the restaurant was therapeutic. Before I know it, it was dessert.

Five forks, one luscious venetian ice-cream cake, the rest needless to say.

* * *

I must say, that was a good dinner I've had since some time ago. The idea is this - most people will think mealtime is about filling one's tummy and then move on to life, working. Not for my case.

An ideal meal would require a couple of good friends sitting by the dining table, with good kitchen food, sound, and great conversation. Food and socializing comes hand-in-hand. Food bonds people. (provided everyone has a fair share) and that's the connection I made with food.

Not very alien, isn't it?

# # #

On the other side of the note, interesting questions were stirring around my parents and me two days ago regarding my sexuality.

That morning, my mother came into my room in the morning to wake me up as usual (it's her routine I don't mind living without) she will normally bring up some topic to talk about and after a while, I am awake!

So that morning she came in and asked about what my plans are after the conference in campus. I replied I wanted a vacation, a time-off alone. Preferably a place where I could see the horizon while hearing the billows of wave crashing to the shore. Then, she went like: "yeah, it's a good thing to travel alone. Oh yes, I have received email about places that are having events you know, gay pride parades, bla bla bla"

Whatever she said after that was almost a blur because I have highlighted the keyword, and it was spinning in my mind for some time, until somehow, our conversation went towards sexuality.

Here's another few highlighted sentences:

"nah, I don't think I can accept my children if he say he's a homosexual"

"yeah, it is a secret thing, if he doesn't say it, no one would know"

later, my dad joined into the conversation an finally popped that golden question. Digression works like magic.

Word Bullet

2010-05-11T16:18:00.003+08:00

*Back off if you don't wanna see a bundle of stuffs that makes you goes like: Why do I bother to read another fag's emo posts?*

There is a Chinese proverb that goes like this:

"In a battlefield, there are no futile soldiers - Just useless generals"

That proverb carries an obvious meaning if one take this into an organization. A leader must be able to see the hidden talents amongst his followers and therefore must be able to delegate the task to them wisely, resulting an efficient work environment.

That is how things are supposed to be done. In any way to improve an organization, the management comes first.

point I : If you force, or give a pressure to your teammates, they are producing work in an unhappy environment. Who's lost?

point II: Never show to your teammates that you are worried about their productivity. Trust them. Give them support. They work better in that environment. In fact, they will give you respect because you understand how they feel.

point III: Use your words carefully. Because words are like bullet. If you are not familiar with the language and you are using it on someone that has higher proficiency than you, they will spot your words like a highlighter and take your word seriously - even if you don't mean it.

point IV: Do not ever compare. If one of your teammates are unable to produce the quality of work that you desire, do not question their productivity by comparing with other member that does more. (unless they are obviously, or spotted lazy) Instead, find out where goes wrong. Is he comfortable with the assigned task? Ask. Because everyone is different.

point V: Communication is vital. Make sure you understand the reports they sent you. If you are not really clear of it, ask them. I'm sure with proper addressing, the teammates would LOVE to explain more clearly to you what is going on.

point VI: Smile. A gentle facial gesture and a welcoming heart is always accepted and yearned by your teammates. They do not ever wanted to see a stressed up leader. If so, you bring down their mood as well. Again, who's loss?

In short, make the working space and environment cheery. (but not too much) because truly:

"A team will not survive without a leader;
and a leader will not survive without a team"

So yes. It's the second week I am living under stress, and I believe more to come very soon.

I was talking with my dad at his office this afternoon after faxing the documents to the embassies and lots of valuable advices are self-discovered during that 30mins conversation.

Thanks daddy.

Though my old man is not well educated to high school, but based on years of experience, he gives golden advices in the form of Chinese proverbs and historical examples. That's how I see my dad as a loving person. Through those thoughts because I know that is the best he can offer, and he gave it to me when I needed it much.

I fully understand all my teammates are pouring their heart and soul for the coming conference in June. Many has sacrificed their time and even family moments into this and I appreciated everyone's effort. But sometimes understanding is crucial to bring the spirit of the team one step higher. I would suggest we start from a good communication.

Because

Who can resist talking?

How things can be done without it?

Everyone has their talent and interests. If only communication is as easy as a piece of cake, the organization would be as solid as steel.

And the leader is the mediator.

Out

2010-05-06T01:27:00.002+08:00

No.

I am NOT emo.

I just despise living in delusions!

A Break

2010-05-05T10:48:00.002+08:00

I actually feel stressed in my long-sought semester break.

At first was the unstable job description given to me because I am supposed to work out an educational and activity module about environmental issues for high school audiences.
At the same time, I am responsible to secure Non Governmental Organisations as our externals for the coming conference.

Then it was the marketing trip I have to go, to companies persuading them for sponsors to our conference.

Now I am thrown into this responsibility of planning an event during the conference called “global village”. Working, planning and executing with minimal guidance. I understand this is about being independent but please, at least give me my promised feedback!

And I want a constructive one. Not blatant words for my inability to deliver my work. Heck I have my own damn pace!

And I am no less being “forced” to do so because I don’t stand a chance to say no because all the work is delegated by my diligent boss.

This is just a post for me to note down how I feel in the inside, though no one will want to hear this rant. You can turn away.

At the same time, I am speckled with tidbits of encounters and to manage relationships, be it friends, acquaintances or potential partners.

I don’t think I can take this anymore.

So much for my idealized holiday where I see I have time to practice my piano, to paint, to write, to compose, to cook, to plan (designing the module), to educate and to inspire.

Untitled

2010-05-02T17:10:00.002+08:00

I am not afraid to tell if you ask.

I feel this blog is superficial.

Because the truth behind all the dramas is not told.

Or is it meant to be?

More people should know.

Because I don't mind.

Dust?

2010-04-30T15:40:00.003+08:00

Definitely.

I need a duster. Or better, a pair of flip-flops, shopping bag and sunglasses!

I'm off in holidays! =P

I'll update when I had the time. After all, I told like a gazillion people I'll get better connection at home - just that my time using it is limited thanks to all the wonderful outings. x)

Till then, more photos coming up. Toodles!

Endorphine Overdosed

2010-04-19T15:59:00.004+08:00

Pen was on the table, my head was staring at the digital clock hanging high on the over-lit examination hall. Every second was an agonizing wait for a long half hour after my last words on the answer sheet.

It's time.

Almost immediately after the papers were collected, I removed my butt from the chair and rush towards the exit - to my room.

Took me a trifle 2 hours to stuff all my belongings into the eco-bags and my dad arrived just in time to ferry me home.

The long sought but familiar sight of my apartment, and my room, the same as i left almost three months ago. I missed home so much.

But wait, this time, there's something more. I saw a huge plastic bagged object on my table upon entering the room. First glance, I saw something and I swear my heart missed a beat. It was a lens cleaner - camera. And costly.

As I hurriedly unwrap the multitude of plastic bags, I saw this box, makes me literally screamed out loud, jumping, running towards my mother like a small children tempted by ice-cream on his mother's hand. Hugging her and repeatedly resented his gratitude, but I know, words itself can't express how I felt. It was euphoric.

It was a Nikon D5000 DSLR, comes with the package a camera bag, a UV filter, an extra battery pack, 4GB memory card and a lens cleaner kit.

"It's for your 21'st birthday this year son. I know you like photography much."

"But but, it is like at least 5 months away!"

"Well, it's just so special and since it's unlikely we were to visit you at that time, we decided to get you this now."

My birthday would be my 21th on (20 - 10 - 2010)

Ohh, and to make life more perfect:

I. Parents left to China for vacation until this Friday, I have the home ALL by myself. and my brother.
II. IT'S FREAGGIN HOLIDAYY!!!

Sighs

2010-04-12T12:26:00.002+08:00

*chuckles*

Electronics is pure evil i tell ya. PURE evil!

No, seriously.

Thoughts

2010-04-10T09:48:00.005+08:00

Oh yeah, these are some random stuffs that comes out from the inside of Andrew's nutshell:

"Aesthetics is the ability to encapsulate the multitude of possessions into simplicity and elegance"

Come back to reality, few days ago I came across something I find very amusing, albeit rather gross.

While I was taking my shower, I hear two guys chatting while taking a dump in adjacent cubicles.

Eww.

Moving?

2010-04-07T14:41:00.005+08:00

Well, today is the day where we are going to "click" the room we'd like to stay for the next semester because this academic year is coming to an end!

The time when the webpage is opened for application?

9am - Dang! I'm having my English paper at that moment.

According to my seniors, if you didn't manage to click what you want in the first 30 seconds after the opening of the site, don't dream of getting a room with only yourself as the occupant.

HOW?

I thank god to have my ever loving senior so willing to help me get a room of my own by participating in that e-savage phenomenon.

And the results?

Good news and bad - for I get a room on my own, but it's an agonizing 4 KM away from my lectures. pfft. It's the ONLY option when he logged in 10 secs after the opening.

On the other side of the note;

I finally understood what's the major difference between me and my current roommate. We don't talk much, but why?

*when guest came in and sits on the host's bed*

Me: Don't sit, it's dirty! :)
Him: Don't sit, it's clean! >=(

Of course I didn't mean my bed is in utter filth. But I have to at least tell the guest to be prepared just in case they didn't like the idea of me sometimes sleeping on it half naked.

The Night Out

2010-04-04T19:50:00.004+08:00

Then, the attentions we make. Or myself at least. I know it's so much about vanity there at the pub because people are looking around for other people. And I know, obviously, myself constantly being watched. Khai told me lots of things about the guys tonight and I couldn't agree less.

Finally, one guy pulled us out to a varandah. He's plump, with a bleached fringe and tight tees. Accompanied by another lean guy with white caps. We were almost being dragged to the sofa, with no one around except the two of them. Then they started to interrogate Khai, asking his current well being and some boring stuffs. Out of the blue, he pushed Khai on the sofa, sandwiching me. Strangely, I was not afraid. Perhaps I expected these stuffs are bound to happen, and there, thankfully nothing happened. But that plump guy didn't want to let me go when we decided to leave that vicinity. He was pulling my arms, closer to the sofa, expecting something. So drunk I see!

It was later I found out from Khai that he was the owner of the pub and he knew both of them. Our group received free refill of drinks that night and that only means the boss is onto either one of us.

Definitely didn't work that way for him for that's the wrong move! hah!

Most patrons there are about their late twenties and early thirties that night when the crowd started to build, still, only a small amount compared to the usual days according to Khai. Later, I started to notice more people are looking at our direction, specifically myself and Khai. They are waiting for a moment of chance when the girls leave for toilet.

True enough. When Khai was gone, one guy approached me asking if I can go over to their table on the other end. My heart was beating fast as we know they are looking at us for some time already. The scary part was they are composed of relatively "fierce" looking guys. Cina.

Despite my inner-self screaming danger ahead, still, I crossed over, sitting on their couch. There were a group of 4 men, the elder one standing, smiling at me. The other one with long hair was the one kept asking my details. I didn't know how did I managed to gather my balls to say no! But thank heavens they are cool about it, albeit disappointed. I still remember they were offering me beer and I took them, quickly.

Then I realised it was a mistake because they kept pouring and I have to keep drinking. Then I know it's time to leave that place. I stood, and say I'll be back again - finger crossed. Duh!

Not long after that, lightheaded-ness strikes without warning. Before I know it, I started to speak more loudly, more movements. Immediately, my group of friends went concerned, with fear that they might have spiked my drink. But I was there and I was about sure they didn't add anything but who can say?

The sensation was almost stimulating. Now I get why people want to get drunk. Not as in wasted kind of drunk, but a more subtle tipsiness. My head was spinning, I was perfectly aware of my actions but I can't exactly take full control of it. I see myself having the gut doing things I usually won't and for this as my first time, I have only my new friends to thank, for they make sure I did not do anything foolish.

* * *

For the sobering up, we went to McD for refreshments, finally reached my room about 4am this morning after getting my matric card scanned for being late. Yes, we still have curfew. Stupid campus.

To Thee

2010-03-29T14:41:00.003+08:00

Knowing myself is to be loved in such a manner is a sensation that none much has experienced.

That is why I cherish you:

For your very existence and how you crossed my path in life.

The one thing about thermodynamics

2010-03-25T12:02:00.004+08:00

Ok. Whats with all the geek nerdcore stuffs posted up lately?

Just had my thermodynamics test before the finals. Lecturer was a genius giving multiple choice questions on Exergy. Loads of conceptual questions and minimal shitty calculations the cinas are SO fond of. (did I just used "was" for my lecturer's intelligence?)

On your face AGAIN!

"eh Andrew, the test was verrry hard ah! The calculations is very easy lo but I dunno what are the other questions about!"

pfft.

On my side, I like it very much. (An indication I can't do maths?) Perhaps. But all I owe thanks to myself reading up yesterday night in the library. All alone. Yes. It's alla bout me. Meh!

On the other note;

Asian guys are getting more effiminate these days. What happened?

Deal Not

2010-03-23T22:41:00.002+08:00

A mirage.

In the midst of chaotic conflicts;
you appeared,

Illuminating ideas of all things possible;
another gate to see truth.

I smiled,
not so bad after all. I think.

Then you left.
Leaving me drawing similarity between you
and the physical world.

Another mirage.

Cracking

2010-03-23T21:46:00.005+08:00

Black thingy is the socket the window in the middle contain flat glass-like crystal.

You know the part when you just realized you broke a component of a few hundred thousand dollar X-Ray device?

Ok, maybe not everyone get to use it so it's okay people don't get me. But there are those who had the chance to use it doesn't appreciate its meaning. Ach! the fact is that I truly appreciate my opportunity to do a great experiment on Modern physics and I blew it this morning.

All it takes is a little curiosity and of course - force.

By right, i am done with experiments. Each students are required to do 10 lab assignments before the semester ends but i choose to do something extra. Something that normally students won't even give a shit about.

So I went to the lab today, early, checking on the availability of the instrument. The technician say that I have to wait for the supervisor. So I waited, beside the device.

I was totally dazzled by that thing sitting in front of me so I started reading the manuals and to check each parts I will be using later. One of the "free to move" components is a target crystal - a slice of LiF (Lithium Fluoride) crystal to be beamed by the x-rays.

Thanks to my observant eyes spotting dirt on the crystal, and the thought of cleaning the finger prints to remove any error factors to my experimental data, I decided to wipe it with a piece of cloth. Little did I know that the crystal came loose and dropped out from its socket! the translucent crystal landed on my palm and I hastily try to put it back. (the glue that sticks the crystal to the socket is still wet!)

After careful arrangement of alignments, and a little force to make sure the crystal sticks firmly to the socket....

*crack*

The rigid crystal snaps into half.

At the same time, the kakak (technician) was like: "erm.. jangan sentuh barang barang tu.. nanti rosak. Sangat mahal tau.."

My heart stopped. Sweat started flowing on my palms. Hastily trying to put everything back in place, putting back that socket into its original glass container and pretending nothing happened.

She started to walk towards me as I looked at her. Now she's beside me and I showed her the glass containing the socket and the broken pieces. And I started to go like..

"erm, the crystal is broken... I can't do the experiment later.. :("

"alamak, sape buat tu?"

*gently lift both shoulders*

"dunno."

There goes my experiment.

Post/Pre exam trip @ Kota Tinggi II

2010-03-16T21:59:00.003+08:00

Someone's cellphone rang. I'm pretty sure it was Fadli's because of that annoying happy tree friends theme music. haha!

7.40am, the sun had already risen above the horizon sending golden pulses of light through that morning alto-cumulus. The first thing crossed my mind was none else than the chilly water. I swear I was so tempted to jump in since it was the rising tide after all.

Nah, in the end, it was just me at the little wooden dock and the wide river. Sitting quietly waiting for the first voice from my heart. Looking into that far away silhouettes of coconut trees, my mind started wandering to places again until Fadli snaps and request for my aid on the breakfast.

Egg sandwich! They boiled the eggs and peeling them are easy. After a good mashing salt and pepper, breakfast is done and ready to serve.

Then it was the games. Previously, Yee Khai asked if anyone interested to take a boat trip into the mangrove swamp with a partly fee. Saying no would be a fool! So the boat left with a few of us, the rest are still on their hunt for treasure in the immediate vicinity of the homestead.

Ok, the trip to the mangrove swamp was interesting because of stories told by the captain, next, to the floating sea deck where fish farmers kept their fishes. Nothing much interesting there except for two pet monkeys they kept. One's Siti, leashed and wearing a diaper. Staring into her fearful eyes just ignites streams of thoughts in my mind.

At this rate I'm definitely going bonkers.

On our way back to the jetty, we dipped our feet into the river while the boat is speeding on its way on the water. Never felt so great under the merciless late morning sun! Then, It was Yee Khai teaching the interns how to make a ketupat pouch using coconut leaves. I gave up on that choosing to cocoon myself in the hammock under the filtered sunshine of a coconut tree with jazz and light music ringing on my ears. Perfect.

A soothing shower, a quick lunch and we are good to go with a retired luxury bus. Man, those seats are huge! More like sofas instead of the regular boring seats that means more leg space for me! :)

Upon arrival, me and Fadli went to Umall for an "Alice in Wonderland" before I called it a day.

* * *

All that luxury of leisure spent on two days before the preparation towards finals and all things academic.

Optics exam coming Thursday;

Bonne Chance!

Post/Pre exam trip @ Kota Tinggi

2010-03-15T08:38:00.004+08:00

Ok, maybe I talked too soon about the absence of my post in the coming days. But the fact is that last week was truly a rush for me - two exams in which one of them are brutal. I so freaggin hate electronics. But whatever la, the hours spent in library every day after lectures are actually quite nice. Enjoying the air conditioned, quiet ground floor reading irrelevant ancient journals, using the awesome internet for FB. Talk about productivity! x)

Anyway, yes of course I studied. Hopefully things will turn out fine. The best part is that I've changed my mind about going to AIESEC's appraisal night, I've decided to pack the bags! Surprise surprise Nitika!

Fadli said I like to make dramatic entrances. Meh!

Ok, the trip's on Saturday morning. Spectacular sunshine. After the rushy packing into my grandma's leather bag (yes, but it looks great!) I moved my ass to the bus station and departed with the gang.

They have games in the bus on the way there and it require an unfortunate person to move around. Kena a few times, pfft. Me no like games. I will so much prefer looking outside the window contemplating.

So we arrived about one and a half later to this place called Bob's Homestay, Kampung Johor Lama, Kota Tinggi. It was a river mouth facing the non-visible sea. All that's sight-able was this huge river and the place we stay is at the bank of a relatively smaller river beside that huge stream. Sky's perfect. Overcast just like last time in Kedah!

And the gang start swarming all around. Objects that piqued my interest:

I. Hanging hammocks. Lots of them under the coconut tree! (sounds like a bad idea eh?)
II. Swings!
III. A little jetty where the moderately clear water is accessable.
IV. Working foosball machine!
V. And lots of place to "chill" out. Places to relax the soul.

Bathroom was a-ok (subjective to people lah) and bedroom is ala-dorm. Aircond at night was bone pricking cold!

So there. Things I enjoy doing the most was sitting at the jetty dipping my feet into that flowing water while looking at the blocked horizon, and the rest is in the mind.

That evening was AIESEC's appraisal night. Like you know, Grammy awards kind of thingy? We are awarding those who deserve loads of respect due to the amount of efforts and commitment they gave in. The theme of the night was "back to school", so you can imagine what kind of things we wore on that evening.

Did i mentioned there was a Japanese intern present? Female. Now her uniform she got couriered from Japan. Truly authentic and it was so real. Anime didn't lie. Later, I got nominated for one of the "bad boys" look. The nominees are required to perform something to please the crowd. Me was EPIC failure wei!

Well, who ask me not to button up and tuck in? (problems back in the good old days) haha!

Dinner was of course the all-wonderful barbecue. I didn't manage to eat many things that evening but a taste of roasted marshmallow is definitely satisfying enough, gosh that good sweety is sinfully delicious. And of course, that refrigerated watermelon. =P

Things I lacked of - not enough chatters. Damn, should have joined that group of interns at the jetty talking away under the starlight.

Blame those flying blood suckers! ugh.

The Pause

2010-03-12T10:26:00.003+08:00

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

With the load of assignments and the coming examinations like this, I doubt I will be updating this page for quite a while. At least until the time I get to take a deep breath and withdraw from the "study rush" in the finals.

Wierd right? Finals are supposed to be the period of time where we take the final thrust on the runway but I treat it as a holiday.

Oh well.

Wish me luck! :)

The Problem

2010-03-07T00:52:00.002+08:00

Is that loving someone is different with actually committing yourself into a relationship.

Accelerator

2010-03-02T22:01:00.004+08:00

Right now my life is on an accelerator - just like the ones in the car where you step on to sink your head on the cushion.

No, of course I'm not talking about cars. Wish I have one here. It would make my life WAY easier. What I meant was academic life specifically. Lately, I have been pushing myself, gaining the momentum to do something extra from the usual things like completing the tutorials and writing notes because subjects in this semester contains new stuffs that is almost totally out from this world.

Optical physics is a language I don't understand. And I don't want to. (except for lasers) :P

K, just got back from taking a shower in another dormitory block. Water is out and that's the measure. Picture this: I wonder what happens to his face when he come to the moment of epiphany after they wipe their arse and discovered that the pipe like didn't work.

Ok, even I don't want to think about it. Madvhi was right. I am gross.

Neways, the Chinese New Year break was a bliss. Got to see my grandma again after like a few months. She has gotten much older and looks a little more like a man now. Really. Short grey hair, going bald, more wrinkles. It pains me to even look at her, especially when she puts up that grimace. Despite her conditions, a few of the family members choose to play Mahjong in front of her instead of asking her well being. Well, luckily I took the time to sit beside her and listen to her rants. Poor grandma. =3

Ok, I have to digress. What's that screaming noise outside? Sounds like a group of monkeys indulging in a raging orgy. =.=

Back to this. So, oranges are plentiful and best eaten frozen. Have you guys tried it? I actually think it taste good! Fadli's idea.

Oh, grandma is also sick during the holidays. No oranges, tangerines, fried food, spicy stuffs and annoying kids for her. I bet she's tired. Oh, the time when she was waiting to burn some incense paper on the eve of CNY. Her eyes.. aiyo..

Speaking of eyes. Grandpa's eyes are having problem. Again. We guess cataract and my mom is again responsible taking him to the hospital. Talking about commitments.. Sighz

Ok, enough of family stories. Tell about friends! Oh, holidays I didn't make it with you guys. Sorry YW, PY and a few more unmentioned. But, luckily I met with a few that are able to soothe all my home-sick drama in two days.

Thanks Alex, Eric and Silon. *heart* you guys loads. Eh, remember to watch those movies. They are a good watch! :)

Oh, about the holidays, I also see D.R.A.M.A!

As always. x)

Andrew.C Signing out.

Aiyoh

2010-02-24T17:57:00.004+08:00

I'm lazy la.. =(

Most likely will post up something soon but not now. Right now I'm just saturated with so much feelings (and ASS-ignments). I don't fancy a break now because I had it not very long ago. Then again, I can't really call that a break because in such a short time my life was crammed with dramas and emotions and family issues.

I have my own definition for a REAL holiday.

Will update about my holidays soon. Oh and I didn't manage to take any good photos of ah ma in the CNY break. lousy camera broke. Perhaps I'll just write.

All Set?

2010-02-09T17:26:00.004+08:00

F.I.N.A.L.L.Y

All the tests and quizzes are temporarily over for this time. And all now is to anticipate the soon-to-come Chinese New Year break. Some of my Malay friends has already left campus. Talk about early celebrations.. lol!

Anyway,

Flight Ticket - Checked
Laptop Battery - Charged
AIESEC meeting - Done (with a tinge of sadness)
New Headphones - Bought
MP4 - Charged (after like few months of deactivation)
Cash - Withdrawn (sufficient I guess)
Remaining Food - Ate
Laundry - Almost done

Last assignments - Erm..

Ok. Still have something to keep myself busy.

In the mean time, I've been trying to un-tan myself since yesterday. Hopefully I'm not appearing as a steamed crab when meeting my mom at the airport. x)

Wha?

2010-02-03T17:07:00.005+08:00

Suddenly remembered a short conversation between me and my Form 5 English teacher, Pn. Nirmala.

Pn. Nirmala: Hey, what is this? *points to a cylindrical object on my desk*
Me: *Without processing the composition of words* Oh, that's my pipe.

She stared at me for a second and I swear I saw her laughed

Me: *In stark realization* Oh, that's my pencil case if you're wandering what it does.

Freedom

2010-01-31T12:30:00.005+08:00

I have been waking up early in the weekends to enjoy the bliss of the morning mist and the occasional temperate breeze while walking down the newly paved jogging track near my residence.

Contemplating has never been so healthy!

Part of the reason why I do this is because of the freedom I had to wake up early. Which brings me to talk about my roommate.

He has gone back to his hometown on Thursday, that means I have the whole room for myself. For all reasons, I love this sense of privacy, in which I have the freedom to do anything, anytime I want - including farting. lol!

But seriously. Having the room all by yourself is a blessing. I'm definitely trying to get a single next semester. (though actually getting one is darn difficult due to the demand. Obviously)

For these three days, I can sleep early without light pollution, make noise, dance to music, practice yoga, talk to myself, sleep half naked, waking up early to smell a good cup of tea, looking outside the window hearing birds chirp and sunlight bathed garden.

Are those normal activities?

Just wandering if I am as usual as anyone else. heh.

Tomorrow will be a exam duo for Electronics and Thermodynamics. I . HATE . ELECTRONICS
I don't really get their diagrams. The physical meaning of it. A huge blur to me.

So all I did was copying seniors tutorials in hope to understand them. At least on the calculations. This is the part I hate the most. I am doing things I don't understand. (and don't like) To me, there's no point studying a subject if you don't understand its mechanisms even you get an A for your calculations.

On your face people! Well, most of you. Those who chooses not to care about the physical meaning and score A for the sake of getting the First class honours so that you can go smug around with it.

Whatever la.

Wish me luck!

MSGs

2010-01-29T21:37:00.002+08:00

It's a drug.

I had quite enough of MSG for the day. Thank you.

Sometimes I wander how nice if society can invent a palm sized dosimeter for the amount of MSG, artificial coloring and preservatives you consume per day - just like how a radiologist / workers in a nuclear reactor check their daily dose of radiation using a film badge.

Had 2 bowls of instant noodles as dinner. How healthy was that?

I remember this conversation the last time I went shopping for groceries with my seniors.

*staring at the plethora of instant noodles to choose from in the "essentials" isle*

Senior: *grab two packets*
Me: Wah... life as a university student is so healthy. I can't wait to see what happens to myself after graduation.
Senior: Now you know.. Get use to it.

An aunt was right next to us, upon hearing our conversation she gave out an audible chuckle. Smiled at us.

Me: You're so right. =/ *grab one*

Next semester I am so getting a mini fridge in my room. Fresh fruits, salad, (milk) cereal. Simple food. The only thing other than fridge I need is a well equipped stove. Too bad. =(

Don't get me started on fibers and nutrition. I begin to taste the preciousness of my mother's cooking. Missed it.

The New Hope

2010-01-25T19:53:00.004+08:00

Everything seems gray to me the day before yesterday. Now no more.

Something happened that has completely changed my views on my dreams and my directions towards it.

I'm choosing the second route.

Yesterday, about late afternoon, I went to the AIESEC Intern's House for their house party. The amazing moment happened on the way there when my boss (the organizing committee president for Project STEP) was the driver of the motorcycle. I must say the ride was rather bumpy, but before we reach the campus guard house leaving, we passed through a landscape of pasture that blew my mind.

Things like this, simple stuffs amazes me. Sometimes even gives me inspirations of new thought and ideas. What I saw was the evening sunset splashed the orange-ish hue to the silks of cirrus cloud painted in the blue sky and below is a vast hilly grass plains speckled with people doing their afternoon sports.

Beautiful. Lively. Hope.

That's what I saw. Hope.

Amidst all the chaos in my struggle to get myself into the correct course, I have almost forgotten I am actually still studying Physics. It just contains a little extra twist. Materials.

It's comforting to hear my Academic Advisor said that I could still pursue my masters in Nuclear Physics in UKM if I wanted to. No problem in that. He assured me. Besides, a good friend of mind told me that sometimes it's better not to study the things I'm passionate into.

At first glance, it seems absurd. Why would one stop to pursue on his dreams? Then again, it comes quickly, that is - take my own sweet time.

So what I saw yesterday kinda opened my mind. I accept what I have now and will do the best out of it. Thing is, I'm not abandoning hope on understanding the secrets of nature. It's just that, whatever that I love, I should do it in my own pace. No hurries. After all, This should be the goal of my life isn't it?

Doing things in your own pace has its merits. Think of it this way, I am on a journey. A life journey that is constantly doing what I want. Reading, experimenting, researching and maybe even tutoring young minds.

That's my goal. Instead of just understanding, I want to inspire people. To tell them the fantastic story of the Universe, since it's grandeur beginning. Malaysians lack of civic consciousness in science. What more about Cosmology. True?

"Take the pressure out of the joy. Separate the pain from the pleasure."

Thanks millions.

Yes? No? ... No?

2010-01-21T13:36:00.002+08:00

No. Negative answer.

This is what I get from my Academic Advisor earlier this morning. I couldn't wish more from him because I could see he has tried despite the possibility of annoying the Student's Affair Department people.

They gave me two reason to shut my mouth.

I. Your STPM results did not meet the requirement to study Pure Physics.
II. I have chosen Material Physics as my first choice in the first place.

Fair enough.

The reason why I have chosen Material Physics as my first choice:

I: I didn't expect our oh-so-good education system to put me into what I want. So I have chosen Material physics because I don't expect myself to get it.

II. Your name "Material Physics" and your course structure's names sounds so damn cool. Until the moment I saw it.

I shall continue the pursuit of my dreams. Just that now, because of you, I have to take an alternative. A longer and toil journey to earn myself to be called - Physicist.

Never mind. What I have for myself is in me. For me, the gate that leads the path to understand the secrets of the universe is always opened. I have faith in myself and I shall not give up.

Even I am just an undergraduate in Material physics.

Before Sunset

2010-01-20T10:10:00.003+08:00

Wanna know what love means to me? "Before Sunrise" is probably a good idea. For me at least. Thanks loads to Jin, I absolutely *hearts* this movie. Changed me, my life and my perception towards a word which all of humanity needs. Love.

This movie is an independent film from Warner pictures. Took only 2 million dollars and 15 days (filming) to produce and gross only 15 million - a trivial sum in the filming industry. But quote the main actor "It's not like anybody was begging us to make a second film. We obviously did it because we wanted to." So I guess this movie itself is made out of love, if not the passion of the story.

So, this movie is a sequel of Before Sunrise (released nine years ago) , all about two characters Jesse and Celine, by luck met each other in Paris after nine years of separation (too) since the first encounter in Vienna.

After watching all the scenes, emotions that has been long kept underneath the academic asphyxiated heart rekindled. I missed what I have and experienced. Suddenly I just felt like traveling back in time to taste the long sought emotions again.

No, I haven't got myself changed yet. Still Material Physics. The progress is crawling in a pace that is driving me crazy. In the mean time, the staggering academics slowly accumulates for a punch in the coming examinations yet I can't believe I'm dawdling the days as it goes by.

More work, more brain power and more perseverance. Library.

Oh yes. Jin, Thanks again for the movie. It's the best. =)

The Stone

2010-01-12T10:18:00.004+08:00

Life is a journey where encountering problems along the way is inevitable. So there, here's one perhaps the biggest problem to achieve my current ambition.

as I mentioned earlier about my dreams and goals in life, I faced a minor problem in course changing. (which I recap - Changing from studying Material Physics to Pure Physics)

After submitting the forms, all I hoped is the "higher authority" in the Student Affairs Office who knows nuts about us approve of my request.

And the answer I received earlier was a cold hard no.

Last Friday, my mother called. She told me about a letter was sent to my home regarding the failure of my course changing. No reason whatsoever. Upon hearing it, it is like the blur of emotion after being slapped without a clue why so.

Still, I ponder why my request is being turned down when my ~~daddy like~~ Academic Advisor and his peers approved of it. I've even met the head of department (physics of course) and she said everything should be alright and supported my change of course.

I mean, give me a darn good reason why I am not allowed to move into Pure Physics? I possess a fair result, I have passion towards theoretical and experimental physics, I don't really like industrial and applications form of physics... What else do you need?

If it means something to you that a student's transfer of courses into another faculty will be a tideous work then you must have been mistaken because I only ask for an inter-faculty, inter-department change. It's exactly like this:

Bachelor of Science - Material Physics
Bachelor of Science - Pure Physics

I will appreciate if you cared to set up a date and time to interview me before any actions because I truly believe that I can convince you. But whatever you responded is simply absurd, deeply unfair and blatant!

Reprise

2010-01-05T10:06:00.002+08:00

Everyday is the same. I hate routines.

The timetable for this semester is a clockwork. For most of the days in the week, my classes start from 8am and ends in afternoon about 4pm. The only day I am free from that morning call is Thursday which my class start at 10am.

Oh and I did not take any co-curricular activities when I am supposed to. Understood that the consequences of taking 17 credits a semester of academics including shitmatics of optical and electronic physics that I'm supposed to excel in coupled with the hectic schedules of AIESEC activities... Drop dead if I take co-curricular subject like PALAPES. (which stands for armed military training. Oh I've seen one who can do all these though. *salutes*)

Imagine me standing under the hot sun with other meats around in a formation wei... God know what happens if I get my hands on a M16.

So there. I can feel the sheer academic pressure surging through my nerves already. Am I prepared to face the coming tests? I want to make sure I do.

Here's the routine:

1. *alarm rings* Wake up
2. Take kettle go outside - boil water (avoid noise)
3. Get hot water into a pail.
4. Bathroom (obvious reason)
5. Boil water, again. (this time in the room)
6. Make tea.
7. Eat bread/biscuits.
8. Change clothes.
9. Lock door and wait for bus.

It's an agonizing cycle I have to do everyday. Does this ever end?

01012010

2010-01-02T20:52:00.004+08:00

You've got to be kidding me. Mathematics and symbols on the first day of the year? Come on, give yourself a break Andrew!

Well, the truth is, despite the worldwide recognition of New Years Day as a public holiday, Johore of all states in Malaysia isn't.

I have class on freaggin this holiday starting at 8am! So I got up at half past six to wash up and prepare myself to lectures just like any ordinary Mondays. Sighs. The classes are none so exciting at all. It is exactly waking up just to do attendance call. (so that I can take the finals)

Sheesh.

ohbytheway, happy belated New Year.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-28T19:57:00.003+08:00

Ah... Christmas. A time in a year where stuffs like turkey, santa, NEW clothes and jingle balls became familiar.

So, what did I do on Christmas?

I had a boring Christmas eve. Nuff said. But Christmas was special this year. I can't celebrate my dad's birthday (what a coincidence-kan ?) , I can't meet up with Clo, Jin, KC, Alex, Justin, Eric.... to celebrate this merry day and ~~I didn't receive gifts~~ .

Eh wait, got gifts lar. Thanks Jeevan! That was a lovely letter. But I love the candycane more. wahahaha!~ =D

This year, I do it in UTM. It was an in-house party with my senior, his roommate and his friends. Oh well, I don't mind more aquaintances. Nothing to do besides this one anyway.

So, everything about the party was cool. Minus the music and awesome food. (which essentially nothing is left right?) lol! Well, there were food like sushi, roasted chickens and stuff but that didn't matter because I was with my friends.

Well, actually it's more like the movie after that lar.

They were playing "Love of Siam".

Then ending of the story is about celebrating christmas too (with overflowing love) and I can't stop shedding tears watching it. But my senior and his other friends kept making sacarstic if not dirty jokes on almost every scene. Potong betul wei...

Anyway, it was a good watch. I'll very much recommend it to you guys. =)

Well, that's all for the speedy report from the computer lab again. Till the New Year, Happy Holidays guys!

Toodles :)

For the morning

2009-12-25T00:20:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hopping

2009-12-24T17:16:00.003+08:00

WEE!~ Fasten my seatbelt and prepare to jump across the course of my studies to Pure Physics!

Hahaha! Well, turns out the Vice-dean did absent from his duty the second day. Hence I passed the papers to my academic advisor.

Guess true. Yesterday daddy called. He was like, "Can I you talk now? please meet me in my room."

No. In case you wondered if I had been violated. :P

I didn't know for sure how did he convinced that vice-dean. But as far as I concerned, he actually did it despite the possibility of not being my AA after that. I was told to talk to the vice-dean in the lecturer's common room to arrange a time for meeting to settle the stuffs.

When I entered that room, all he said to me was "what are your grades?" "O.K" "just pass the paper to my personal assistant. Everything is alright."

Score.

*let's hope they keep their words...*

Pure physics

2009-12-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

I officially hate paper works. Wait. Who likes them anyway?

It's all the formalities I have to go through. It really bothers me when I realized what I want in my life and the process of me getting into it will be a rough one because of a few papers and signatures.

Right. Here's the situation.

1. I want to change my major from "material physics" to "pure physics"
2. Changing requires me to get tedious paper works done.
3. It starts from getting my academic advisor's signature.

Well, I actually have the confidence to talk to him. At least I know what I really wanted and I think he could see it. But frankly, his demeanor kinda freaks me out. He has this softy attitude that I find it a lil hard to accept. Maybe it's just my perception. Maybe.

Consider this:

The first time we met, he was like so nice to me.. and goes like saying "you know, an advisor is more than just advisor. I'm like your father, I will do as much as I can to take care of your needs. You know, maybe you can pick someday and we go out for a drink or supper or something. Maybe if you don't mind, we can go out to the beach.. Because university life is not all about academics..."

Um.. Go to the beach with you? I hope the next thing won't be asking me to go into somewhere private. =/

Don't get me wrong. No prejudice here. I still believe that he's a nice man. In fact, I appreciate that I have him as my academic advisor because he's easy to talk to. It's just his way of composing his words. Sometimes it's very misleading. So, I have a reason to be a little perceptive on this. Just in case.

Thank god he signed my paper. Although he made this little drama of the fact that he might not become my academic advisor after the change. (I really hope Newton's universal law of attraction doesn't work here)

Done.

Or is it?

Still, I will have to meet with the vice-dean of academics to get his signature. More meetings. And my deadline is Wednesday. What if he's not there tomorrow?

My academic advisor says he'll come to the rescue.

Small waves

2009-12-19T23:03:00.002+08:00

How to surf?

So far, the internet service provider is not available yet, so at night, I'm at the student's common room, snatching a piece of wave to surf (the net obviously).

Well, I'm officially addicted to Facebook. But with such connections, it's like giving a thirsty man that has been stranded in the desert a cup of salt water. Wth. =/

Worst yet, I can't chat with my friends! It's been a week here in UTM and I missed Subang and every friends in KL or wherever far away dearly. You too. Yes, you!

Sighz. See, no pictures to show you guys. What to do with such connections? Probably I have to pray that I can manage to upload this later...

On the lighter side, YEAY! This semester will be an exhilarating one! It will be quite short (from December till mid April next year) and the subjects are like damn awesome-lo. Lucky for me too getting all the nice lecturers except for one and he's teaching one of my favored subject - THERMODYNAMICS!

According to my seniors description of him, I guess I have to do a whole lotta read up on my own. Hope the thermo master (sounds like a name for some heat insulating flask) who studies in Sydney can help me in it... *hint hint* LOL!

Oh wait. Provided I have the connection again. Dang.

Neways, life's good I guess, albeit busy. I'll be doing work for AIESEC on Environment Issues and it's going to be awesome. Fingers crossed. I'm responsible for the communications department. Means, I've gotta reach out to the public about our event via cyberspace and promotional posters.

Hmm... Design design.

I'm still coughing like a locomotive. Though the coach is decelerating... When can it stop?

I wonder...

Update

2009-12-14T15:46:00.001+08:00

This a really short post just to notify my readers that I'm not dead yet. More to come once I got my Internet connection in my dorm.

Hell loads of drama and stuffs. =)

Breather

2009-11-05T21:16:00.004+08:00

After two devastating maths papers in a chain of two days.. Finally the stress has taken its toll. I see eye bags when I face the mirror; I saw more pimples; I have halitosis.

I'm taking a short break.

That means more Internet tidbits! Sadly, that's not a good idea because apparently the Internet service provider gave us a really bad stream. Picture this - I tried downloading stuff and the average speed is no more than 6Kbps. Killer.

That also means I can't upload pictures on Blogger. =/

Bah. I should stay focused for the last paper on Monday. After that, semester one ends and I'm free to go home! I missed so many stuffs I can only get in huge cities. So, anyone is going to treat me Carl's Junior when I'm back? =)

The Way

2009-11-01T18:38:00.005+08:00

Hah. The first week of battle has just passed. Here, let me recall what I did for the past few days and list it down...

Books.

That's it. Yup. Books. It was just books, papers, and pencils. Spending my days and nights squirming in pages made of pulps isn't exactly a very productive way of studying. Well, this is because I found out after all my brain cells being utterly stressed up, I could not remember a single thing.

Worst yet. I am now having this "I-Don't-Fear-Finals-Anymore" mood. Have no idea how I caught it.. Don't ask me.

You know those people who can eat the entire contents of a text book? They can tell you exactly which page in the book if you throw them an equation..

I'm not that kind of person.

You know those people who doesn't need to study till the last minute they read up a few pages of texts and score A in finals? I'm sure I can do the same. But score a in finals?

I'm not that kind of person.

Finals

2009-10-28T01:48:00.003+08:00

So it has begun. For the following two weeks will be the final examination for this semester. A gauge for the level of competency in the subjects I have taken. I certainly hope for the best - I confess I did not prepare well for this test. But hey, at least I did take an effort to read up and work it out.

On the cheerier side, I am coming home on the 11th of November! Can't wait to reunite with my friends and meet up with those I've promised. There are so much to tell and so much to do. This time, It's club crashing and letting loose! I'm expecting nags but who cares right?

Sometimes we just gotta take the first step to break that rule! =)

Can't believe I am able to deprive myself from Dhosai and real Dhal for so long! Mamak session is inevitable lah!

We are family!

2009-10-12T09:45:00.001+08:00

The age difference between all of them are maximum 3 years.

Break.

2009-10-11T11:14:00.004+08:00

What am I doing all these while? Is everything worth it? Do they pay out as it promise? Now that's the problem I'm thinking about.

Do we always have to expect a return from something we have poured out our efforts?

For me, at least, the efforts you put in for whatever it is, be it assignments and the countless hours in the library, the lame compulsary TITAS subject, hours at night spent in AIESEC meeting room planning for the event, friendships, relationships all brings something.

Perhaps the payback are not materials, what i expect was something better. Experience. For every little things you do, and the effects you see, you learn a lesson. A fragment in your life, slowly one at a time.

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me he was in one of the worst moments in his life and he is about to give up hope for some of his friendships. Ignored the fact that i was involved in managing an event that i am responsible at that time, i felt an urgency to convey a message - to tell him how much he should preserve it and how valuable a good friendship can brings.

I find it ironic. It's ironic because i am also about to give up hope because of my physical condition, my time management, my mental capacity and my emotional preserverance.

Then it is this point i learned that it doesn't matter how many stuffs you do at one time or how complicated your relationships in your life. You have to do it yourself and occasionally a good

friend will give you that word of encouragement and that's all you need.

True friends will never want to see another give up.

So,

Through out the week, i learned something.

It's that i should NOT give up. No matter what.

Void

2009-10-05T17:20:00.002+08:00

At times, you cry;
At times, you scream;
At times, you reach out a hand;
At times, you need that loving heart;
At times, you say hello to the dark vacumm.

And you expect a response.

Sorry.
There were no sound,
There were no helping hands,
There was no one.
Not a voice,
Not a sound;
Not a....
Not....
....

Then, you reach out to the last resort.
Sometimes, simply just believing makes Him exist.

This week is going to be a real busy week for me. Am I prepared to face the challenges? AIESEC Seminar, exams, assignments, reports, quizzes all due this week.

My ears and eyes are still opened.
There is still hope.

Love.

Tea leaves and a glass of cocktail.

2009-09-27T17:07:00.004+08:00

Yes, as I've mentioned to most of my friends during the gatherings and stuff, I'm going to stop writing two blogs out of the three for good.

Words itelf cannot possibly describe the tsunami of events and feelings that occured to me for the past week. So much I've experienced, heard, shared, seen and remembered. Ya know, now I understand it's not just the friends and chats that makes this holiday complete. It's the whole thing. Subang itself. The people, the drivers, the buildings and stuffs.

So, here's a few things I have done:

- Went climbing Mount Lambak, again. Twice this time to the summit.

- Meet most of my extended family members. My maternal grandma, grandpa, aunties and uncles.

- Dumbfounded by KC's idea - telling me he's leaving Selangor to Sabah for good. (with an apple tree, a ferris wheel and two monkey pets.)

- Played Jin's piano. Hey, at least I remembered a few keys.

- Enjoyed Clo's ride. Again. (hahahahahaha xD)

- Had Japanese buffet with family and almost vomited due to the raw beef stuffings. =/

- Swimming again!

- Excited seeing Jupiter and one of it's moon (Callisto) using my RM80 cheapo telescope.

- Drank cocktail while chatting with my form 6 buddies.

- No need to do laundry.

- No dish washing.

- Ate 90 sticks of Indonesian Satay with only SK and KC.

- Taught the idea of the evolution of the universe since its beginning with SK & KC.

- Seeing KC's moment of epiphany and excitement.

- Had Dosai after 2.5 months deprived from it.

- Drove again.

- Used my house key again. (Finally saw rust on the key. No joking!)

- Shared so many stories I got myself almost dehydrated.

- Drank mommy's healthy fibrous fruit juice EVERYDAY. (no more constipation. Crap almost slips off daily. erk! =.=)

- Got hot shower lor...

- Shared my shoulder for someone in their worst moment and listened to his story attentively.

- Sniffed Calvin's pet dog. Stephie.

- Met up with Alex and Jeev. Plus Mark, Max and Justin!

- Shared so much stories with them in Carl Juniors, Pavillion.

- Face-fed Jeev with brownies. (Happy birthday!)

- Thanks Alex for the awesome brownies!! Taste real good!

- Did a Human Watch in Pavillion.

- Finally knows where the hell is Oblique KL. hehehe. xP

- Kissed my bed.

- Molested my pillow and bolster. xP

- Almost find myself flirting with someone. (fun lah)

- Bitched about lecturers and my dreams.

- Watched a movie that mentally fucked me so hard that I almost cried after watching.

- That is because it's a huge reminder of what happened in my room and two malls almost 3 months ago.

SEE? How can I possibly sit at the sofa in my house with all these happening? But seriously, I haven't sat there like since I left for UTM.

Next time. There is always a next time.

EH! I still got REPORT to do ah!!! OMG I'll tell more about the blog closing stuffs next time.

Till then, Ciao.

O.O

2009-09-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

my mom reads my blog! Hello mummy!

Long distance

2009-08-26T22:44:00.004+08:00

A friend that I thought our friendship dissolved, just called.

And I remembered a lot of stuffs happened during the holidays after STPM. Now I missed it so dearly. Oh the happy days. =)

Can I have a telescope please?

2009-08-20T23:31:00.010+08:00

Neutron Activation Lab

*This is a long letter. So, get a cup of warm tea, sip it slowly while reading this* =D

Dearest mommy and daddy:

It has been a while since I sent my last letter. Life here in UTM is getting busier day by day because of the academic tests, lab assignments and tutorials. So far, the exams are not really difficult though I know I can do better. No worries, I’ll continue the efforts necessary for completing the course of my choice.

Talking about the course of my choice, I’ll now slowly explain why and how my interest in physics developed and how the current progress in it makes me excited to know more.

I’m now currently pursuing my bachelors in science – material physics. (BSc. Material Physics). Before I came here, many of my friends asked me what material physics really is. I believe you and daddy have little idea about it too. No worries, let me explain slowly.

Material physics is a sub field in physics dealing with all the properties of materials used by humanity. The bullet proof vest, bullet proof glass, bio-ceramics, thin coating films, semiconductors, steel, corrosion prevention and many more are the gifts material physicist gave us.

But as i said, I am not really fond of science that deals with application. (Engineering is actually applied science. They use what we know in physics and develop applications to benefit mankind) I am more interested in the theoretical part in it – that is to discover and develop the ideas that are the forefront of science!

My target now, is to get a decent result in semester I so that i can convince the faculty to allow me to change my course to the one i really like. I am changing it to Bachelors of science – Physics. (BSc. Physics)

Ok, so why pure physics?

Remember back when I was a child i have this inquisitive nature - that is interested to know what is all the things happening surrounding me. I remember trying a lot of strange things that a normal child won’t bother to do. I remember trying to light up a L.E.D with the 250V socket and caused it to explode. I remember I was heating kitchen salt hoping that it will melt. I also tried to heat water using the sun’s energy captured on a piece of metal. Remember I used to have a small “lab”? How many kids you know have this strange personality?

This is essential in the development of my interest in science.

Then, I was studying standard 4. I cannot possibly imagine how happy I was every time the teacher asked us to go to the lab to see her demonstrations. I remember my friends used to call me “mad scientist” back then because of the seemingly odd behaviour I displayed in science classes.

Fast forward to my secondary school years. I recall that the amount of time we have to spend in lab significantly increased. We have to do lab assignments and at that time, I love chemistry. I love chemistry because I can see the wonderful colours of liquids changing colours when subjected to heat or other chemical compounds. Besides that, in my form 5 year, I came across a really nice chemistry teacher in Tutorial Lee. He’s the same teacher who taught brother science now. That teacher made me understand chemistry like no one does. Hence the A1 I scored in SPM.

But i did not neglect physics too. When i was studying in high school, i remember i played loads of computer game. Especially form 1 till form 3. That time KC introduced me a computer game that changed my life.

He gave me a computer game called “Starcraft”. It’s like a cyber chess game where you are the commander of an army, building cities and soldiers to eliminate your enemies. In the game, there is a building you build that helps you defend your nation by blasting light out, therefore keeping enemy from sight. The weapon they specified there was called the “photon cannon”.

I was very interested to find out what it means. But my search has brought me nothing because apparently there’s a gap of knowledge in science that I must understand in order to understand the term “Photon”.

My opportunity of studying form six really opened my eyes. I was very excited when i saw the word “photon” in one of the chapters. And I finally understood what it meant. The meaning has DEEP implications to all of physics that i understood.

Photon is defined as a “packet” of energy from the electromagnetic waves like: visible light, ultraviolet, infrared, x-rays, radio, microwaves and gamma rays. Then i finally understood why it is called “photon cannon” - because it’s shooting bundles of energy (packets of energy of light) to destroy the enemies.

It’s ironic that i developed this interest from something you banned me doing (playing computer games) so much.

I realised that in the following chapter in my physics book in form 6, it was Einstein who developed the “photon theory” (more precisely, it’s called the quantum theory). Since then, i have the urge to know what more Einstein did and developed. But then, these theories are called modern physics, and modern physics in form 6 is very elementary. They only give us a few examples and the very basics of it. So i know i got to find out more from other sources.

Then I came across a book in MPH that eventually i bought with my own money and that book literally changed my view on the universe!

It was written by Stephen Hawking, and he is one of the greatest intelligence in recent eras. That book truly opened my eyes and finally gave me a picture what physicist are really up to and the excitements they are experiencing. The best part is that i can relate it directly to what i was studying in physics at that time!

It was exhilarating!

Here, let me share some of the excitements. If only you could see the world like how i see it, you will definitely understand my enthusiasm.

In the beginning of 19th century, physics is having a revolution. The “old” physics developed by Isaac Newton and Maxwell was having a trouble. It cannot be used to explain certain phenomena in nature that was recently discovered.

The atomic theory was at its infancy. All things you see around you, cars, people, dogs, buildings, food, air and so on are made up of matter. Take a look at your hands. Then you look deeper using a microscope, you will realise you are made up of cells. But what made cells? Cells are made up of many complex chemical components and what are chemicals made of? Chemicals are made from many types of atoms.

So, what are atoms?

If you look closely to the atom, you will know that atoms are comprised of protons, neutrons and electrons. But what are they made up of? In recent experiments, we discovered that protons and neutrons are made up of even smaller things called quarks.

Now, can quark have smaller constituents?

This is one of the problems in physics now. And when you look into this small scale of nature, Newtonian as well as Maxwell-ian physics cannot be applied anymore because it will breakdown. Things in the tiny world behave very strangely.

Can you imagine yourself disappear from your office and appear in your house? How about being in two places in a single time? Can you imagine yourself crossing a wall without a door and did not hurt yourself (like a ghost that floats across)? Now THAT all actually happens and it’s very common in the tiny world of atoms.

We are made of atoms. So, can we do those things too? Can we disappear from one place and appear somewhere else? The answer is actually yes! But we need to be lucky enough for all our atoms being disappear from one place and appear on the other side all together at the same time. And all that actually has equations and formulas to apply. The whole chapter about this phenomenon is called quantum mechanics.

Have you ever wonder how small are we in the universe we live in? Let me give you a picture. We as human beings, so far only travelled to the moon. But how big is the universe? If earth is a size of a green bean, our sun will be the size of a basketball. Lets say the basketball is in Subang Jaya, the closest basketball (star) will be in Hawaii! One second light can goes around the earth 7.5 times. It takes light 4 years to reach the closest star to us. And that’s just the closest star. There are more than a billion stars in our galaxy, and this universe has a billion billion other galaxies in it. The farthest galaxy that we see is 100000000000000000000000000 meters away (10 with 26 zeroes behind) and that is just what we see. There could be more galaxies further.

Einstein said that time is relative – when you travel close to the speed of light, your time will slow down. Einstein also showed that a huge object like the sun or earth actually bends the fabric of space-time. These complex and yet elegant theories are called Einstein’s general relativity.

So now we have the theory of the very small, called the quantum mechanics and the theory of the very big, called the theory of relativity. Physics explains EVERYTHING that’s happening around us with mathematical precision and a logical sense. I am particularly interested to know a few deep questions that humanity has always asked.

I. Why are we (humans) here?

II. Where are we (humans) going?

III. How did the universe started?

IV. How will this universe end?

V. What are we made of?

As such, I’m interested to learn cosmology, which is also a branch from pure physics. Physical cosmology as science is very important in keeping the human race on the forefront of knowledge. It deals especially with the theoretical framework to understand the observed universe, its origin and its future.

My dream is to become a research lecturer. I want to teach and inspire people to understand more about the world they live in and perhaps through time, maybe we could answer some of the deepest questions humans has always ask themselves since the beginning.

With lots of love,
Andrew.C

Statistics and my bed

2009-08-16T20:57:00.003+08:00

Statistics and Probability test on next Wednesday.

Sighz, this weekend has been almost a total waste of time in terms of academic progress. Been hanging out most of the time with my loud (not to mention hillarious) seniors lately.

Bed was as blissful as chocolate and wine. So, Saturday's breakfast was skipped due sleeping. Lunch was damn expensive weh. Went to the closest mall for fast food - Pizza Hut.

Just the 3 of us had almost RM90. Gah!

Today is yet another lazy day. Been lying down most of the time, sharing sushi and nap~

How unproductive.

Am I ready for the test? >.>

Colours!

2009-08-13T23:56:00.007+08:00

Ahh.. This reminds me why I like physics so much. Practicals! Whee~

This time it's...

Determining the wavelengths of the components of light emitted by excited Cadmium atoms via diffraction grating spectrometer.

Bother not about the name. Just look at the preeety colors! :)

Messed Up

2009-08-11T21:13:00.002+08:00

About two weeks ago i went to the highest peak in UTM. It's the Balai Cerapan also known as the observatory.

It takes about 20 mins of jogging to reach the top and it's really a huge disappointment lor when I expect to see a dome and a telescope but what turns up to be a rather small building with a flat rooftop.

Loads of people were there though. It was constantly windy and as the damp air hits my face, i was enjoying every view possible with a friend of mine and my lovely camera.

Bah, long were the days of peace. Last week was the most messy of them all so far.. I got to know that my grandma was not really in a pink of health, crazy exam schedules + hectic lab assignments and relationship problems.

Dear god sweet Jeeesus, help me la.

I hope my conflicts can be resolved asap.

AHHH!

2009-08-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

I'm still excited.

Sweet melodies kept playing, tangy blogs I'm reading. I think i'm going nuts!

Ooooh. Just like dogs that shake its tail when happy, imma tapping my foot to the music. xD

Academic exciment!

2009-08-04T16:32:00.002+08:00

Does those two words EVER stick (or goes along) together?

To me.. It does! The opportunity is given and I finally grabbed it! YEAY!

Tomorrow I'm supposed to do two lab assignments twas mathematic test in the evening at 8.

Then I got the news from the senior about professors from Osaka University will conduct an apparent free lecture on elementary particles and muon experiment. Unfortunately, the time of the lecture is exactly when I should be doing one of my lab report!

After discussing with my lab partner, he agrees to postpone it to Thursday morning - and the lab assistant agreed!!

Music to my ears! =D

I'm hoping to hear loads of informations and I can't wait till the Q&A session. *shakey hands* X)

Faulty Windows Update - the repair

2009-08-02T10:17:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was one of the most "silent" day of my life. Never once I pine for music so much after my computer was muted by a windows update.

It's true;
When you take something for granted too much you will understand how much you needed it when you lose it.

It's true for everything, especially relationships.

Anyway, this post is the solutions to the PC problem:

Last morning, I've downloaded a windows update on my audio driver - IDT High Definition Audio CODEC.

Apparently, after downloading it my computer doesn't produce any sound anymore. I tried to do system restore at certain points and it always turn up a failure because of some unknown error.

Went to the Net to look for solutions and I realised A LOT of people are suffering the same problem after downloading that update too!

Finally I found this site (By Hewlett-Packard) that offers a file to download to solve the problem.

Here's the link.

Download it and run the file. Voila! My PC is cured after that. Got music, got life! Woot!~

HAHAHAHA the technician was supposed to repair my comp on the coming Monday. Oh well. (Saved my expenses on repairing it!) =D

Ps: And here's something for you Microsoft...

*SCREW YOU!*

FML

2009-08-01T12:41:00.004+08:00

This coming Wednesday I'm going to have 2 uber tideous Magnetism and Optics lab assignments plus Intermediate maths exam!

And a academic test on the blissful saturday is simply unspeakable. Physics - electric fields. Gah!

I'm going nuts reading those papers on trignometry identities and remembering them. @.@

And now thanks to my itchy hands, I've aggrevated my bad mood by updating my lappie with microsoft updates that MUTE my speakers. WTF.

HELP!! No music, no life! X.X

Have you McValued Lunch yet?

2009-07-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

The catchphrase still kinda got stucked into my brain... thanks to someone's ads.. >.>

Seniors night out

2009-07-25T10:37:00.004+08:00

I'm grateful I have a group of active seniors that are outgoing, extrovert and trippy. LOL!

Wednesday night, they organised a steamboat dinner meet-up and all the juniors are cordially invited to join that event. It's sort of like a formal introductory meeting with our seniors.. So, I basically can't turn it down.

Oh, it was awesome anyway! Love it.

Ya know, it takes like I dunno how many cars to fit everyone, and they are inviting those ~~ancients~~ super super super super super seniors to join us. They're cool, albeit a lil quiet..

So, the dinner was fine. Loads of laughter and lame jokes. Having sweet time watching stuffs goes from a civilised beginning to utter barbaric. Food was like too much in the end! and everything extra goes back inside the pot, covered by the Tom Yam soup.

Well, thank heavens the restaurant didn't charge extra for it. (Actually they can..)

So, after the dinner, we went to some of the super super senior's house. Sort of like a gathering. The organiser gave a casual speech about the group SSI and brief introductions on everyone.

The Ancients

Went home a while after that, which was almost 12am when I'm going to sleep!

ZzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz......

A million little fibers

2009-07-24T08:18:00.002+08:00

The world is turning upside down!

Is it the Al-Qaeda?

Is it Obama?

Is it H1N1 Influenza?

No....

It's my freaggin hair!!

It's been dropping off from my scalp pretty much lately and I tried pretty hard to find the cause..

Is it the salty, oily, hot and spicy food?

Or perhaps it's the coming stress of academic exams.... No wait.

Previously I've seen the weirdest thing.

I see two known "bananas" speaking half broken mandarin to each other! O.O

So maybe... there's some group of dark cinas trying to systematically change bananas here into apeks!

YES!! THATS IT!

Bananas! Zip up your skin! We'll have to live in disguise. =D

"Fine" Living

2009-07-16T20:48:00.007+08:00

Living in UTM Skudai, I realised there are simply too many precious stuffs and moments I used to take for granted when I was living in Subang.

Here, I redefine the term luxury and what it means to me:

Privacy is a luxury - I'm slowly getting used to sharing public toilet. No longer I silently giggle when someone fart inside his cubicle when I'm taking a shower. Cause I know my turn is coming soon.

Warm water shower is a luxury - I'm getting annoyed with getting up early to drench myself in ball-freezing frigid waters. (And seeing anonymous pubic hairs on the floor. =.=)

Own vehicle is a luxury - Walking 1km to my class everyday seems far. But I'm accepting it. After all, I wanted a spacey environment. In exchange with sweaty underwear. More laundry. =(

Washing machine is a luxury - Oh.. my towel smells funky! Pfft. Drying it takes days unless the sun is kind enough to show his face. Then again, more sweat and more laundry. Grrrrr...

Never mind. I got Cadbury! Chocos. Ooohh. My energy, my dear friend, my comforter, whatever that's nice. xP

A substitution to what I pine for. bleh.

The wrong sex

2009-07-12T15:25:00.003+08:00

My parent came to visit me last Sunday. Brought tonnes of stuffs and shop for even more at the local University Town.

Dear mommy brought me this...

Maybe shaving me ugly body hair is a good thing after all!

I'll be a good daughter.. *angel face* Hahahahaha! =X

UTM - the second week of "trying to fit in"

2009-07-10T19:07:00.010+08:00

So, after the much tiring orientation week that produced sore throat. I guess the only period of time I loved during the week was the cultural night. More precisely, it's the gamelan play I enjoy.

Love that mesmerising chimes.

Anyway, in the second week, class commenced. The lecturers are quite "chilled" with the flow. So are we, therefore we didn't do anything much academic.

Yeah, FAK them all...

I would say the "fitting in" experience is a bit fun. Also rather tiring with the housework like laundry and cleaning the room.

Oh oh.. Almost all the Chinese friends here speaks mandarin as their primary language. I can't possibly imagine myself speaking it as a primary language after graduation - seeing me slowly turning into an ah pek.

I kinda have a cousin look-a-like as my roommate. Thank heavens he speaks English to me! woot!~ Well, thats because he speaks English to some of his relatives. Talking about coincidences!

Ahh.. Morning is really blissful here! So far, it's never a morning without mist! Walking from my room to the nearest wifi spot requires a 5 mins walk. But it's rather smooth. I love the spacious environment here and the greenery.

Even in the afternoon, the air is not hot but rather breezy, and late in the afternoon, you can go hunting for people or just plain eye feasting here cause there are plenty of people playing sports. Guys AND girls! hahahaha good news for the hunters! *hint hint*

Well, generally, this place is a pretty laid back, minus the trouble on moving place to place due to the distance..

This paragraph is dedicated to a dear friend that's leaving Malaysia to Australia for study:

Though we are going to be separated thousands of miles apart, this messege is to let you know that wherever you are, wether you're having a moody, happy, excited, sad, euphoric, bored or just a plain-o-day, I'm here.

I can lent a ear to listen to your rants, your experience, your stories and your ideas. Let our friendship continues despite the overwhelming distance.

I'll miss you dearly. =)

In the throat

2009-07-09T17:29:00.004+08:00

Last week was orientation week.

I get to know a number of aquaintances...

It's fun.

It's sweaty.

It's exhausting.

See, a few days makes me require this to survive...

It's orange and mint flavored!

And deep in my throat, it hurts.. hahahahaha.

Secret

2009-07-07T10:17:00.003+08:00

And I told my brother before I left to Johore.

He goes like...

OH MY GAD WTFBBQ!

blah blah blah. He'll accept it someday. HAHAHAHAHA!

Bonne chance! Goodbye my friend(s)

2009-06-26T12:41:00.004+08:00

I had the best and the worst experience in the same day. It's the same day I did not sleep, drank and talked.

I won't be updating the blog, sign in MSN and facebook stalking for quite a while until I got my laptop in my new place. I plan to do that later after everything is settled in Johore, when laptop is a necessity...

Until then,
Bon voyage! Good luck to everyone that are leaving their home for studies.

I will miss you all dearly.

Warm hugs for everyone! *hugs*

The real stuff is in Malaysia! Citizens, come and grab it.

WTF! hahahahaha...

My review: Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

2009-06-24T11:34:00.004+08:00

Another Michael Bay's work. Bang Boom!

Here's a simple 3 sentence for my point of view:

I. Boys will LOVE the movie.

II. Mechanical engineers will erect watching it.

III. Com graphics designer will laugh at the mech engineers.

Entertaining!

Nuff said.

Messy Week

2009-06-23T10:50:00.002+08:00

Trust me, this week is nothing but a complete mess. All activities went into such a short time, and I know the coming days will be worse..

My UPU results are out!

I got accepted by Universiti Teknologi Malaysia (UTM) in Skudai, Johore!

The course? It's material physics. Fancy name for material science. =/

The painful part is the time they provide us for preparation. I have to register myself into that university on this coming Sunday. That means I got to leave this Saturday! And nothing was done in the past few days until recently.

Last Saturday, I went hiking with Yip, Pik Wah, JJ and Kenny. The track was down right scary. The way I see it - it's never meant for the weak minded. As I mentioned in the photo album on Facebook "every step could literally be your last."

You can picture how precarious the hike was.

Anyway, I'll post the details later (If I still have time to post.. @.@) Here's a teaser.

Right after the exhausting hiking experience, that same night, my mom insist to shop. Oh well... Who can resist shopping? (Especially with a moving ATM to help. Hahahaha....)

The damage I've did to to my mom's purse is unspeakable. Fancy stuffs and such, so far, I got myself a Tee, a short, 2 shirts, 2 pants, 3 ties, a belt, a Polo, 2 bags and a pair of shoes.

Still, more to come tomorrow! =)

Now that's the fun part. As for the frustrating part... It was nuts I tell ya! I have no clue how many paperwork that's needed to be done. So far, I think I've done only 20% of it and it's so annoying to travel here and there to get authentication and "witnesses".

To make things worse, I've over exerted myself in the past few days of hiking and shop-o-mania, now I've lost connection with my legs and I have fever and sore throat. @.@

Yesterday, I've dedicated the entire morning till noon for the authentication of copies of my documents in school. Met with teachers and get advice from counsellor. And I don't know the amount of copies I have will suffice on the registration. The same afternoon I went to CIMB for creating an account - my university requires it for transactions of tuition fees via internet banking.

That STUPID bank rejected my I.C not because my I.C can't be read. They gave me an excuse saying the picture in my I.C looks too young. wtf?! =.=

Today, I just came back from the Registration Department in PJ. Waking up in unearthly hours just to get stucked in the traffic. End up, the clerk told me it's not necessary to change my I.C until I'm 24.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!

And there's no need to made a temporary I.C because my I.C's chip can still be read. She told me the bank has absolutely no reason to reject my I.C.

Ahhhh. Frustration frustration. I only have a few days left to savor moments with my friends. Plus, I have to get all the documentations done. Plus Plus I need to recover from my sickness before my body check-up later in the university.

CIMB - SCREW YOU!

Just you wait. I'm coming for you later!

I have black GOGGLES

2009-06-17T17:30:00.004+08:00

This morning, I was awakened by a yell from my mother’s room. It was my grandmother’s voice. Lazily, I crawl away from my bed, dragging my tired body into her room. Again, I’m sleep deprived. Grr..

Then I saw her sitting on her bed moaning in pain. I thought I saw tears in the corners of her eye. I asked her what’s wrong. Apparently her right foot was swollen. Suddenly, there were no wrinkles on her feet - it looks like a bunch of flesh tightly wrapped by her skin, and it’s practically screaming for attention.

Immediately, I know my plans for basketball later in the morning will be cancelled. No matter. So, I boiled a pot of water, grabbed a “hotpack” in the freezer and warm it up to apply on her bulging feet.

Pasta was the breakfast menu prepared by my dad this morning. No surprise that my grandma refuse to eat it. So, I intend to get out from the house and get some Nasi Lemak for her. I took the key from my drawer and placed it on the dining table. Then, just for a special favour, I asked her what she wants instead. Ironically, it was that very thought that distracted me from taking the key when I left the house.

It dawned on me when I locked the door!

My first idea was trying to alarm her by throwing gravels at the window. There was no response after many tries, then, I moved to larger and larger stones till I almost cracked the window! (now the window has permanent marks.)

Then I called the house phone while my fist was working out hammering the door. Nope, Alladin didn’t appear. Yes, she has hearing problems. =/

So I went on getting the food and end up going to the basketball court whining. Thank heavens Ying Wai were able to accompany me to the school where I found my brother to get the keys.

Ugh, it pains me every time I see her enduring sickness. Inevitably, I’ll get old. Hopefully someone will take care of this old man if he’s retired. Haha...

Well, pessimistic views aside. I’m sure there’s much for me to do in the coming days. Just came back from the doctor under the blistering afternoon sun. Diagnosis? She has Gout. Hmm… I need my cup of iced tea!

Stationery Spire!

2009-06-15T12:32:00.005+08:00

What a pun! lol..

Thanks to my piano teacher, it's the FIRST time I visit the tallest pencil in the world. The sad part is, the enormous writing tool is just a mere 5 minute drive from my residence!

=/